Sad Clowns.
Brilliant choreography by the Emmy winner Tyce Diorio.
My favourite group routine of So You Think You Can Dance Season 5.
Titled Send In The Clowns by Judy Collins.
Absolutely beautiful. Perfection.
Oh yes, Tyce Diorio is now my SYTYCD idol after Mia Michaels.
She is back.
After all the hardship and turmoils,
Yes, Whitney Houston is back.
May not the same as before, but it's her.
Got to listen to it when I was driving back home,
Alone,
Just... so beautiful.
It sounded much like a prayer,
And no, I'm not a Christian.
And I thought it is all about love & courage.
What Britney, what Rihanna?
They can never come close to her.
As I lay me down, heaven hear me now,
I'm lost without a cause after giving it my all.
Winter storms have come, and darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through,
Who on earth can I turn to?
I look to you, I look to you,
After all my strength is gone,
in you I can be strong,
I look to you, I look to you,
And when melodies are gone,
in you I hear a song, I look to you.
About to lose my breathe, there's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more, searching for that open door.
And every road that I've taken, lead to my regret,
And I don't know if I'm going to make it,
Nothing to do but lift my head.
I look to you, I look to you,...
My levees are broken, my walls have come, tumbling down on me,
The rain is falling, defeat is calling, I need you to set me free,
Take me far away from the battle, I need you, shine on me.
I look to you, I look to you,...
My special dedication to my mom and beloved late dad.
I look to you.
I'm doing this for the first time.
This is a hate entry.
You can choose not to proceed any further.
I hate my neighbour. Pariah neighbour.
No consents from the beginning;
Ok, I have lend my parking area;
I have also endured the ridiculous road blockings from the banana trees;
and yet I still have to endure the stupid noise,
You blast those damn speakers, and you dance like monkeys;
Fat ugly assholes...
And you screamed, still not enough of making fool of yourselves?
Who do you think you are?
Morons. I'm just waiting for the time to lodge police report.
Yes, the noise, that drives the doors in my house went shaking.
1Malaysia? Merdeka Day?
Yeah right, tell me about it.
But it is not about testing people's patience.
We each have our own lives,
Please, shut up and fuck off....
Please, don't make me curse and swear, I usually don't.
Once I started, I can't help myself.
God damned you.
Without a doubt, it was one of the best trip ever. The most tiring trip too. First time using my new baby 1000d on a holiday made me realised huge cameras is indeed a burden. 500g felt like 50kg after walking and standing for more than 10 hours a day.
I enjoyed looking back at photos taken during the trip, sightseeings, candid shots simply because I believe every moment, every picture tells a story... and the story began with the changing of my camera's sd card when I was on my way returning to Malaysia from Shenzhen.
2 small, almost identical sd memory card, one brand new comes with the camera purchase, 4GB and another older one 2GB that have been with me travelling through many places for past years.
After switching back and forth of these two sd cards in the plane that took 4 hours to reach home, I started checking out the photos with the rest. It was quite messy I guess, was ordering inflight food, and my tray was full of paper containers and sandwich wrappers... but well... I remember I kept my cards into my pouch and zipped it, although at one point it was not zipped as it was on my lap, I was searching for $$$ to buy stuffs.
When I reach home, even without shower, I on my laptop and started loading the photos but was surprised that the 2GB card is nowhere to be seen. Panic? nope... maybe I was too tired, it was 3am++ in the morning.
After unpacking, the 2GB card is till not found, that's when the panic kicked in. 2GB full of memories, the last 3 days in Lantau Island, the breathtaking nightview of the Symphony of Light of Tsim Sha Tsui, and the bestest meal of the entire trip in Shenzhen's Qiaocheng Dong and most important of all, some moments with travel buddies and new found Hong Kong friends and family that can't be replace by anything else. This makes me sick, makes me sad and extremely disturbed.
Why? Why is this happening to me?
Friends and colleagues were trying to console me, some said they have lost a brand new Mac Book together with a videocam which cost a bomb and videos of the trip, which is more painful than what I am going through right now; some who got camera stolen in China after a long 5 days trip, losing all photo and the a very nice camera. Even my mum told me that her friend got her wedding photo all over-exposed (that time no digital camera yet) with no photo after the wedding. I know, compared to them, mine is nothing. But I just can't get over my lost of 2GB.
I will not give up in searching it so easily.
I turned my room upside down, left and right to search for it. Not found, now that I have finished unpacking, all cleared, chances of finding are quite low.
I also tried calling Air Asia (their phoneline sucked big time) and managed to contact and made a report at the Lost & Found department, after numerous attempt to counter check the aircraft, they have confirmed that the 2GB card is not the plane.
I've also called the cab driver who sent me back home. Waiting for his kind reply. Hoping for miracle.
Like what they said, when you don't need it, it keeps popping out in front of you, but when you need it, you will never find it.
True enough, I seriuosly hope it appears right infront of me.
Pray.
Update 24th July 2009:
Called up the cab driver, disappointed with no signs of the sd card.
I went further, called up the LCCT budget taxi centre to check if I would have left it at the cashier, and there was no record. I even went over to LCCT, checked with the cab cashier again, went into the international departure hall and asked the Lost & Found department and even speck to the Bangla cleaner about any chances of my sd card. I tried my last effort to walk through the paths that I've been through at my arrival few days ago from the departure hall to the taxi station.... All negative.
That means either the sd is not lost at these places, still can hope for it.... or I should just give up in searching it.
For work trips down the Kiasu-land last year, that almost made me to the Run organised by the same bank in Singapore, I was so disappointed over the annoucement of early closure of entry due to overwhelming response. And then, in about less than 6 months time, the same event has stepped into homeland, gosh... without second thoughts I signed up for the local chapter of the Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2009.
For an unexperienced, novice runner like me, I can only afford the 10km run. Hardly any training done, well at least I tried completing ONE and only 10km run on a treadmill with zero inclination and 2 other 5km short sprints in the gym simply to mentally convinced myself that I CAN complete the run physically. I was pretty much happy with it already prior to the run.
Not when the day came rather unnoticeably early. With little preparations and zero outdoor running experiences, I can only hope for the best as I do understand running outdoor is entirely different from running on a mechanical treadmill that tend to push me to run without stopping from the revolving conveyor belt. My aim is to qualify and to be the finisher of the Run within 1.5 hours but I was surprised with myself with the record time for less than 1 hour 18 minutes on my first trial on the treadmill. However, still... feeling rather unprepared for it, seriously.
The race pack collection was told a total disaster but I was lucky to get there early before the rain hit and before the computer network system got short circuited and before the long queue and before those people cursing for non-advancing queues up to more than 2 hours just to collect the race bibs and t-shirts, and that's just only for one running category.
Howver, I have managed to change my t-shirt size after trying it out at home that found out my pre-ordered 'L' was little too large for me, hence got back and change for a smaller one on the next day. Contrary to the first collection day, the booths were so free, practically waiting for participants to come... Later then I heard of the massive complaints via Facebook of the nightmare of having to queue up for hours when one was collecting for a few that are in different categories... The first hiccup from the organiser.
And then it was the much anticipated day. The Run on the 28th June.
It was too early to get the engine started, slightly passed 4am and I was already on my way to Taman Jaya's LRT A&W to meet up with the babes, KK, EM, CL and her gang. Although I got myself a powerbar that was bought on the race pack collection day, I just can't help myself by getting a chicken burger set complete with the ever famous root beer. How can I not have root beer whenever I go A&W?
And then that was when everyone was laughing at me of burping and farting root beer that smells like chicken burger... along the Run. Yikes.
Thanks to CL for getting the tickets for the all-day long shuttle bus service and then we were on the way to the Daratan Merdeka, to meet up with the rest of the 12,500 runners from everywhere else. Sometimes I'm just amazed by how meticulous females are... especially when KK commeneted on the armpit hair showing guy standing right real close to her the bus.
The drop off at Padang Merbok made another walk for 15 minutes to Dataran Merdeka but CL was nowhere to be seen after that when everyone was busy looking for waterloo. EM, KK, SY and myself even got the time to cam-whore (special thanks to EM for the pics) at the starting line before the offical flag off of the 10km run. Time checked, 7am sharp.
The Run started with the gun after the bell from the clock tower and then... all nightmares begin... at the first 20m, inclination started with so many runner around that was so crowded and interuptive. I have to settle for slow jog and some walking in between, until the route got diverted to a bigger trunk road somewhere on Jalan Tun Razak. The first few moments of the run was surprisingly refreshing, not to mention the cool morning fresh air and the excitement and adrenaline rush to be able to run freely on a highway. I mean, how often so you run on a highway?
I was blasting my iPod with full uummpphh ahead, pretty much cutting many runners in which I was quite happy of my capability at that early stage of the run. Not until I mistakenly thought the first water station that I met was the first 5km mark of the run. I was like, "wow, that's fast, 5km achieved so easily... cheh...". Yes, too happy too early. That was the water station marked for the other running category I supposed, when later I found out the route was just merely the first 3km only WTF!!! Still a long way to go when the actual KM marker appeared.
Adding to such demoralising encounter, my iPod failed me! The right ear phone was not working; probably due to excessive sweat as I was carrying it in my back pocket with no cover. Gosh... I was worried further damaging the iPod and have to resort to have no song for the run by keeping it away.
The run was then diverted to Jalan Mahameru where the runners are now more scattered but still pretty crowded. 10km runner are all strong yo... but this was when my shoulders and neck started giving me problems. Left shoulder was aching, feel'in extermely stiff and muscle tensioning. It was the pain that made me start walking eventhough I still have much stamina to continue running. So, I started walking, half way there.
As the pain ease away, I started running again. Then found a blister on my second left toe. Right sole was hurting very very badly. Wrong running shoes or perhaps improper running posture I guess? Nike has been my closest companion in workouts, but now I changed my mind... It sucked! After running more than half way, the right sole was getting worse and towards the last 2km of the course, the right shoe sole came off, and I was practically flapping it all the way to the finish line.
Having all the kahoonas, I decided to only power walk at the up hills and sprint my way down hill, making full use of the acceleration of gravity. The final leg was at Jalan Parlimen where Dataran Merdeka was just at sight, drawing closer and closer to the finish, to many runners dismay it was a huge left turn to Jalan Raja Laut where I saw another long run ahead before hitting a U-turn back into Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman. Fuck... I believed many was cursing like me already... but this is it, almost there, I started sprinting for the last distant and giving my all.
I have got no watch, no timer for the run so do not know of the timing but I managed to pass the gantry sensor, not hearing any beeping sound though, with the unofficial clock time of 1 hour 19 minutes and 32 seconds. My impression immedietly after the run was like: "That's all? I still have more to give la..."
Well, for a untimed run, I think that I did pretty well and I have achieved my goal as the 10km finisher. The queue for the medal was horrifically long but I managed to caught up with the very tanned Emily and then again... cutting queue (not that I did it on purpose, the vacant counters was calling me out loud...) to get my medal even the isotonic drinks, for me, it was a breeze... huhuhu. And also several huge bananas for recovery...
Then met up with the babes and had some cam-whoring session again and we waited for Runaholic for more than 2 hours at the finishing gantry with camera on standby mode but still no shadow to be seen. This was when we all started to get a little worried, thinking all the possibilities along the full marathon that might happened, or maybe the crazy Runaholic already came back without our notice?
The wait at the gantry allowed me to witness so many people with all shape and sizes finishing the Run, especially those in full marathon, 42km, seriously no joke. Of course, saw several fellow instructors from the gym as well but one that caught everyone's attention was this young chinese lady who went crying out loud, seriously crying in pain or of joy (not sure which one... but I think more like in pain) at the same time crossing the finishing line that looked so so familiar from the gym community. Anyway, I'm moved by their sheer determination, their fight against the pain to endure the entire marathon.
Sitting near the gantry sensor, I noticed that full marathon runners are mostly NOT in shape. They can be fat and flabby (I'm just honest, no offense), some are like pear shaped housewives, and some men are even very veteran uncles up to 60 over years old. What's more intriguing was, these seasoned runner finsished the run with ease and even managed to pull up the huge smile for camera and pose the peace sign, unlike some relatively younger ones who just went breaking down in tears and cramps right after they finished. However, full marathon runners, you got my full salutation for completing it.
Overall, it was a great experience to be running again after so long. I was never a runner and hated running since small. The obvious run that I last did was the merentas desa back in the secondary school. But I thought 10km was rather easy to accomplish. It was more mental than physical in terms of finishing the run with a good time. I thought I can do much better than this, if only I could have a watch with that time.
I suddenly find running can be very addictive. I just got to improve on my running speed and timing with better running technique. Like what Polar's Running Clinic said, control of breathing and heart rate is important to last longer and to fully utilise the energy in the body. Perhaps if I ever join a full marathon in future (yes, I'm dreaming, so slap me if you can), I might consider getting myself a Polar watch.
I'm looking forward to the next run, hopefully able to complete a half marathon 21km very soon.
Yup, the next one... Adidas's King Of The Road 2009 Shah Alam, here I come.
By Leon Jackson, winning song of X-Factor, cover version of Mariah and Whitney's.
I have never realised how beautifully written it is, until now.
Dedicated to myself.
I need the motivation.
I need the encouragement.
I need to - Believe.
